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PURE CRAP

Pallidula Rigida Nudula

Chapter One: On the Fifth year, He Came
Author: Mushroom
Rating: R
To tea_drinker. Hope you appreciate another attempt in boysex.
Summary: Seth just wants to leave Liberty City and live a happy life. So he chose to procrastinate. He left his work and home to watch the sun dry.




I.

“Can you move a bit?”

Seth looked up to see crimson eyes, with cherry swirling in the center like ripples, millions of them. Specks of powdery-blue sheltered his iris.

They were strange eyes.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“You shocked me, sprouting out of thin air like that,” He muttered, moving sideways towards the edge of the bench to give him space. The stranger sat down gently beside him and looked at him seriously, and Seth sneaked a sideward glance. He winced. The newcomer owned fair hair; extremely fair hair, almost white. They were white, not of old age, but of something caused by imbalance…a disorder. His eyebrows were ashen, giving him a spooky appearance, and his skin was pallid and seemingly translucent. If it wasn’t for the boy’s brilliant red eyes, he would’ve looked like a corpse.

Seth shuddered and closed his eyes tightly. The stranger’s pallor was usually coupled with bad luck.

“No, really! Why were you staring at me? Ahhh…” The stranger pressed his palms on his face and sighed. “You must’ve seen me at the bicycle shop downtown.”

“No, I haven’t.” Seth admitted. He regularly walked downtown, but that was only to reach his destination, which was HERE. He never paid any attention to the colorful shops and stalls, because he believed they were only distractions to his real purpose. His feet would walk down the dusty sidewalks, eyes closed, and people would whisper and laugh at his brisk movements. Seth was always in a hurry. Seth didn’t want to stop running.

He had to catch something.

The stranger continued to stare at Seth; those magnificent crimson eyes observed and memorized the figure before him. “I’ll ask something else, then. What are you doing?”

“I’m waiting.”

“For whom?”

Seth shook his head. He must get it over with; they all left him, anyway. “I’m waiting for a bus.”

“A bus? Buses aren’t allowed here in Liberty, silly. We’re only allowed to use the subway and trains. Or a bicycle. You could buy a bicycle from me. Only thirty bucks.” The stranger seemed oddly furtive when he said that.

Many things weren’t allowed in Liberty, come to think of it. Seth and his sister left their impoverished home, thinking that Liberty was the place for hopes and dreams. When they arrived, however, things weren’t what they thought them to be.

When Seth’s mother died, he sought out his father. He spent years and years living alone, all by himself in his childhood house, playing with the cats and dogs and listening to the footsteps of the burglars (the lone indication of human life). Finally Seth found his father, but when that time came he was already trapped in a coffin, ready to be buried. Little Seth was introduced to thirty-four siblings, and eleven other mothers. This is a good turnabout, he realized. He wanted company; now he had lots of people to talk to. They got along very well, though their stomachs were empty.

Seth entertained his family by playing music. He could play all sorts of instruments; the guitar, cello, trumpet, flute, piano…anything that can produce tunes. He could whistle excellently and sing in a clear voice, which greatly amused his younger siblings. His extended family forgot their hunger by listening to ballads and the thumping of drums and cans, and it provided temporary enjoyment. Seth was talented, funny, and handsome, so most of his sisters fell in love with him.

He tried kissing four of them, at lengthy intervals, when he was sixteen. It felt good, but his stomach growled at the exact moment of supposed budding ecstasy, and his sisters left him in disgust. He didn’t hunger for affection anymore. He was just…hungry.

After several years of an impoverished lifestyle, Seth’s elder brother Wallace obviously had enough. “We need money—now don’t let me start,” He scolded Mother number one, who was sobbing on her plate. “I’ll sneak in on one of the cargo trucks headed for Liberty city. They said everything is fine there; there are money, fame, business opportunities. I’ll come back a rich man, I promise. Then we’ll have vacations in nice beaches.”

“Like those in the postcards?” asked Mother number four, eyes shining.

Wallace grinned at her, and to celebrate his successful departure Seth played the piano with fervor and enthusiasm.

Sure enough, Wallace returned with a handsome face, gold in his pocket, and a winning smile. He became a famous lawyer in Liberty city, and had many connections. The eleven mothers approved of his success and all claimed motherhood to the eldest son, whereas Wallace rounded up his brothers and sisters and inducted an inspection.

“This is the first and last visit, I’m afraid. I’m a very busy man now, as you can see.” He said ostentatiously. “I’ll only take two of you—HOLD IT!” Ten of his siblings started launching themselves at his legs, crying and pleading for him to take them. After a few grueling moments in which the violent kids were taken care of by the brusque Mother number Ten, Wallace continued, “Yes, I’m only bringing two. You’re in, Seth, because you speak well. My affiliates associate speech with performance.” Seth bowed his head and refused to look at the others.

Wallace walked back and forth, thinking hard. Then he stopped and pointed at a little girl with fine black hair. “I’ll take Chesca. She’s got a beautiful face. Might be a commercial model or something. I expect your face to be on billboards and posters.”

That night Seth and Chesca packed their belongings. Seth was crying at twenty, while the four-year-old Chesca calmly promised she would come back and take the others with her. The two fortunate siblings (who were suspiciously better-looking than the rest) walked downstairs in solemn steps, as the dejected mothers looked from the sidelines, wiping their silent tears of goodbye.

“Everything’s in Liberty,” Wallace explained, as they rode on one of the trucks. “There’s a huge community there, more families. That’s why we don’t need the others anymore. (Seth’s stomach lurched uneasily at his blunt statement.) We can start our own. We should leave unimportant things behind. My boss always tells me that, and I believe him. When you work, be sure you follow what your superiors tell you. Follow your boss’s every command. It’s mostly good for you.” Their elder brother had a funny expression on his face; he wore a smile that meant many things and held many secrets.

Once Seth and Chesca arrived in Liberty, they were overwhelmed by the height of the buildings and skyscrapers, the beauty of the people, and the blinding, multi-colored lights. Billboards featuring gorgeous models, spectacular cars and perfume covered the tall walls. Important-looking businessmen walked hurriedly along sidewalks while others discussed business over extravagant coffee and wine. Wallace immediately introduced his two siblings to his superiors and colleagues, and his boss gave both youngsters a friendly hug…no, a fatherly one. Seth and Chesca were welcomed warmly by Wallace’s affiliates, but they were for malicious reasons.

However, Liberty proved to be comfortable only for the wealthy. The citizens fooled themselves into thinking that equality was significant, but the old traditions took place yet again; only the strong and influential were given justice. The custom of walking around the streets, driving cars, trying to look important…they proved boring and unnecessary for Seth. Everybody watched his steps and scolded him for it. They even criticized his music; such noise, they clamored.

They never even saw Wallace much. He was mostly out to work in his boss’ apartment. Seth would knock a day or two, bringing him news of his success, but he was always busy. Never had time for his siblings. But oh, Wallace looked happy, and Seth admired his ability to smile like he was…in heaven.

That was one of the reasons why Seth chose to sit back on a bench by himself, rather than converse with other socialites. As a child, he would’ve given all he had to speak to other people, familiarize himself with magnificent places, but there was emptiness in Liberty that everybody felt but deemed unimportant. This emptiness ate at his heart and he refused to eat or sleep within the sound walls of the city.

“He-ey. Why are you waiting for a bus, anyway?” The stranger asked softly, detaching Seth from his reverie. The older man jerked back and spun to look at him, and was blinded by the brilliance of his eyes, so he lowered his gaze.

“Cos I want to leave Liberty. Duh. What else?”

Seth expected the boy to leave him in a sour mood, but—was he hearing things? The boy’s voice seemed…interested.

“Are you sure? Everything’s here in Liberty, why should you go someplace else when everyone’s dying to go here?”

He sighed. “I dunno. Maybe I’m crazy, or delusional, or just plain stupid, but I really want to leave.” He looked around him, trying to find purpose. “Everything’s here in Liberty. But they’re not for me.”

The stranger looked at him in wonder. “Where are you going, then?”

“I’m going to R Town.”

“Your hometown?” The boy looked up and sure enough, a Stop sign was right beside the bench. The bench was on a vast green field, facing the sunset, and the rest was nothing.

“Nope, that’s the name. R Town.” Seth wondered why he had to explain things to the fair boy, but he was admittedly drawn to his voice.

“What’s in R Town, and why would you like to go there?”

Seth leaned forward and whispered, “Do you really want to know?”

The stranger nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yes! Sounds interesting.”

“I-It’s really absurd…” Seth stuttered clumsily. He hated being laughed at.

“Do continue,” pressed the younger boy. “You’ve already got me started. I won’t be able to sleep if you stop this conversation. I’ll be dreaming about you. I’ll see your face everyday, and wonder the secrets that lie within you. Don’t torture me like this.”

How could Seth resist? “Well, R Town is this really nice place in the East. There are mountains and hills and rivers and grass and trees—yes, trees! I assume you still remember what a tree looks like. (The stranger shook his head.) You don’t? So you were born here? Oh well. Check your local channel. Anyway, we can live in little houses and huts and swim in the lakes. Everything is peaceful there. You can breathe, and people won’t try to stop you!” Seth stood up and started waving his arms wildly, a mad smile stretching at the corners of his face. “We can have pets. I always wanted a dog, y’ know? The inhabitants are warm and friendly; they care a great deal for you, but they don’t give a damn about you, get what I mean? That’s what I want most. That’s why I want to live in R Town, and escape this…well, bullshit.”

Seth breathed heavily after his speech and paused to recover. A pregnant pause followed. He waited for the stranger to leave him and spread throughout the entire world that he was insane. It’s not like I’m not used to it, Seth mused, recalling the time wherein a gossip spread that he had a wife and Chesca was his daughter, a rumor which promptly removed him from work. The gossip wanted to find out why Seth hung out on the grassy field everyday, so he pretended to be a wandering tourist. Once Seth told him his tale the gossip left, clutching his stomach in stifled laughter. Soon the place was deserted. Better leave a crazy man alone, they said. He’s dangerous.

Naturally, it surprised Seth to see the fair boy’s eyes light up in excitement. “How’d you know? Have you seen the bus?”

Seth gaped at the other, bewildered. “Errr no, Chesca—my sister—told me. She was the one who saw—“

“D-do you think if I get there, if I live in R Town, people won’t think I’m weird or squint or grimace when they see me?”

“’Course they won’t. They’ll definitely squint though,” Seth rubbed his own eyes. “God, you’re bright.”

“Then I’ll wait here with you,” The stranger announced and adjusted his position so that he was sitting cross-legged on the bench. Seth proceeded to gape at him. “Name’s Julian, by the way. Mind if I wait for the bus with you? Hope you’d like a traveling companion. Your name, please?”

“I-I…Seth.” There were no words. Seth leaned back and watched the night sky, sprinkled with stars. Their brightness reminded him of his newfound friend, though the boy was quieter and removed himself from view.

“…How long have you been waiting?”

Seth looked grim. “Five years.”

His voice was tired, but the stranger’s hand on his palm told him that the bus was just around the corner.


II.


Waiting with someone was definitely more fun. Seth created people to talk to in his mind when he was alone on the bench—which gave him the horrible thought that he REALLY was insane—but now Julian was with him, and he was wonderful to converse with. Seth would even dream of their conversations in his sleep; winding, twisted, and out of proportion, but they made a lot of sense. He would moan out Julian’s name and bicker with him under the sheets until Chesca woke him up once again into the gloomy world of Liberty.

Days seemed like hours; Julian revealed himself as a sarcastic boy with a mind cramped with crazy ideas, and they laughed their wasted hours away. Both would dance and sing and comment on each other’s wacky thoughts. However, they would stop talking immediately once midnight struck; both men needed to retreat and rest after a day’s wait.

Seth and Julian would always look at each other with unspoken longing before trudging back to Liberty. They’ve been silent for too long.

It was another long afternoon.

“You look like a bunny on fire,” Seth grinned.

“Excuse me?” Julian raised an eyebrow.

“You know, a bunny. Specifically, the one with white fur and bloodshot eyes—“

“An albino bunny.” The fair boy said softly.

“Yes, that’s what it’s called,” Seth said hurriedly, annoyed that the younger man seemed to know more than he did. “Just wanted to say that.”

“That’s because I am.”

“What, a bunny?” He jumped back and stared at the other’s hair, expecting fluffy pink ears to reveal themselves.

“No.”

There was silence. Seth was fond of cracking jokes, but he knew when to stop and change the subject.

It was the fiftieth day since they first met. Julian brought a box full of colorful magazines and books, and both had a fun time poking fun at the people in the pictures, and reading the articles out loud. During afternoons Julian would rummage through a new pile of old photos and souvenirs for new reading material, and when night settled Seth would play the guitar and lull the other man to sleep, his pale, limp hair covering the flame within his fair eyes.

Seth cringed as he was greeted by another naked woman with impossible breasts, and closed the pornographic magazine hastily. “Why the hell are you still here, anyway? How ‘bout your work?”

Julian shrugged. “I dunno, but all of a sudden my boss started paying his dogs rather than me. I think he misses the children he left back in their village. I get my money from the cashier. As long as I can feed myself everyday, that’s what matters.”

“That explains why you’ve been stuffing yourself since yesterday,” Seth remarked just as Julian took another huge bite from his sandwich.

“Shut up.”

“You’re harsh for a bunny. You’re just supposed to wiggle your nose and your butt, and snuggle up…” Seth executed his rendition of a Julian-bunny by performing aforementioned bunny activities.

Julian glared at the older man as he doubled up in laughter, so he sat back and started singing clearly; “You are the mirror of my desire, clothed in skin and flesh. Wonder what my heart is doing, jumping out my chest…”

“Stop it,” Seth snorted. “You sound horrible, Julian. Be glad no one’s here to hear your ugly singing. But wait, I’M here! Have you no pity for your friend?”

“Yeah right,” The other smirked. “You always smile when I sing—don’t deny it, I caught you! Killing time with petty conversation, but oh this is bliss. This is bliss. I wouldn’t miss. We should form a band when we get to Our Town, Seth. You could play the drums, bass, guitar, violin, and organ. I could be the lead singer. We’ll perform in the Town Square every Saturday. Do they have a Town Square? Dropping my gaze on your unclenched fists; oh my lips would like a taste of this. This, there, oh right there. Show me when, show me where.”

Seth sighed unexpectedly. “Hey loser…are you for real?”

“What do you mean, real? I’m acting like myself. My body wants you to take me home. My body wants you to the bone. Kiss me, taste me, swallow me whole. My lips are yours and ready to go.”

“Are you really waiting for the bus? Maybe you just pity me, pity this anti-social bastard who wants someone to talk to. Maybe you think I’m an interesting specimen, and plan to report me as a science project. Maybe you’re just a figment of my imagination—the effects of staring at the sun and the grass and this stop sign for too long.”

“I want you, can’t you see, can’t you see me undress. Watch me go, watch me lie, feel my caress. Of course I want to go. You said it yourself; Liberty is bullshit. I don’t want people to…look at me. I want to be ignored. There’s nothing left to look at here, anyway.” Julian stared at his insipid arm and tried to rub the intensity off. “How’d your sister find the bus?”

“She caught the bus while walking home from school. Even talked to the driver. The driver explained everything about R Town.”

“And you believe her? Been dancing at the edge of the bed, dropping each layer gently, gently, gently. Drink me, touch me, make me feel new. Your bed feels like mine. I want you. My, my, lick me dry.”

Seth glowered at him. “Of course. She’s my sister.”

Julian cast him an omniscient look that brought chills down his spine, but said nothing.

Chesca saved Seth from awaiting death. It was six years ago, when their house burned down. The little girl saw fire in her dreams, and she narrated this horrible premonition to her brothers. Wallace laughed but was secretly nervous; his sister might be abnormal, and it would complicate his stay in Liberty. Seth thought she was too young to be telling lies, and feared for her future.

His sister urged him to accompany her to school. Several hours later they came home to be greeted by devastation. Wallace died in his sleep, breathing lethal air. They were left with nothing but heaps of gold and a small amount of smelly furniture…but at least they had something. Seth wept bitterly, but Chesca was silent. Apparently, the little girl wept in her dreams, knowing it was a disease she had to live with for the rest of her life.

Ever since the tragic incident, Seth always listened to his sister. Chesca’s words were always important, and were never ignored. Besides, they only had each other to rely on; they discovered that Wallace was his boss’s lover, and since he died, the connections dispersed as well. His boss became devastated and clung on the body of their dead brother; a passionate lover and a responsible assistant all at once. Multi-talented people don’t live too long-they're too good to be true.

Seth thought he was handsome enough to be recognized and given a high-paying job, but they were TOO many beautiful people in Liberty, so competition was extreme. Too many beautiful people. Too many sad people.

Seth never felt so useless in his whole life. It was impossible to go back home; he heard of a raging draught, and thought of all his mothers and siblings. They were probably leading better lives than the both of them, even if they couldn’t eat. Chesca mentioned something about numerous deaths in the family, and he bit back tears. There was no chance of escape.

...Before his little sister saw the bus.

“Where is she now?”

“She’s at school. I’ll bring her along; she’s excited to see you.”

“That’s great, another fellow traveler!” Julian smiled. “My body wants you to take me home. My body wants you and I to be alone. Your bed feels like mine.”

“She had this vision. There was a fire. I got really nervous when she told me about her vision, but the odd thing was that she was smiling sadly. Anyway, I don’t want her to leave my side now. Can’t afford losing another—someone.”

He stared at Julian’s fair hair, blazing like…fire, like the flames that burned their house and their brother down. The fair boy looked back at him and pouted enviously. “You’re burnt. Come on here and lie me down. Let’s go have another round.”

“I know,” Seth picked up his guitar from underneath the bench and strummed. “Come on, let’s sing, seeing as you enjoy it too much.”

They looked like an odd pair. Julian was white, while Seth was tanned…the result of staying under the afternoon sun for years and years, waiting for the hopeful sounds of machinery and metal and wheels. The fair boy brushed his fingers against the other man’s bronze skin as he sang, in hopes of stealing his color.



III.


The distance lessened gradually between them; a cohesive force was pulling at both men with great strength, something that developed beyond time. This distance could be measured; it created a physical manifestation. Soon the two were head-to-head, shoulder-to-shoulder, hand on hand. It started to get cold, so they relied on each other’s heat for comfort. Winter was a shrewd fellow.

The next day Seth took his little sister along. Chesca was a real beauty at a young age; her hair was as black as her eyes and her skin was golden. It was obvious that Seth gave everything he had for his sister’s sake; Chesca wore a dress made of silk with embroidery, while he settled with patched sweatshirts and jeans.

Julian gasped when she saw the little girl, and refused to touch her. “She might break,” he reasoned, and Seth rolled his eyes.

“You look like you’re ablaze,” Chesca whispered, eyes wide. She stressed her words like a tempting actress, with dramatic hand gestures. “Brother told me lots of things about you. In fact, he says too many things about you, as if he has this fixation of sorts.”

“Yeah, I’m the reason why you’re brother’s toast.” Julian knelt down and smiled gently. “You’re…you’re not afraid of me. This is a surprise. Would you like a bicycle?”

Chesca gave him a child-like smirk. “I’ve been forewarned. My brother told me things about you. But…but oh, you’re beautiful. I wish I’m as slender as you are. I’m so plump.” All of a sudden the little girl tiptoed and tugged at Seth’s sleeve, declaring the words that would change everything in just a moment of sun and grass and skin:

“That boy’s a great kisser.”

“W-WHAT?!” Seth blushed, stepped back, and slipped, landing butt-first towards the tall grass. Julian rushed over to help him up (not without chuckling madly), yet little Chesca continued to stare at him with passionate eyes.

“Honest! Believe me, brother, that boy CAN kiss. His kisses are divine,” She puckered her lips. “Oh boy, you should try him. I can tell he’ll make every single part of you happy. You’ll be hungry for his lips, every night you’ll wish he was with you; you’ll just want him beneath you, beside you, all over you. You’d like to drink him, to eat him, like bits of candy, a toffee, a bonbon. Sweet, delectable candy. Kiss him; you’ll get what I mean. You’ll probably understand even more than I do, because I won’t kiss him, but you will.”

“W-why are you telling me this?! What the fuck do your teachers tell you, anyway?!” Seth scolded her, but Julian was laughing so hard at his muddy buttocks that he forgot all about his repulsion.

“She’s funny. I like her.” chuckled Julian. “How old is she again?”

“Ten, and already such a lewd girl. Stop laughing, you’re only encouraging her.” Seth glared at him contemptuously and wrapped his jacket around his waist. The other boy shook his head enthusiastically and walked away to gather their belongings.

“You can express your gratitude next month, when you finally get to kiss him.” whispered Chesca, so quietly so that only her brother could hear her. The little girl’s eyes sparkled and turned misty with expectation, while the older man gripped the picnic basket roughly, the handle almost broke.

After an hour consisting of screaming, cussing, and swearing of various gods, the three finally found a nice picnic spot (“Good thing the weather’s amiable, there isn’t a damn tree in sight to shield us from the evil sun.” said Seth gruffly) amidst rows and rows of brown grass. Julian and Seth prepared the food, occasionally exchanging witty remarks, while Chesca scrutinized the both of them with a meaningful grin, her eyes dancing with delight.

Things were properly placed after a few minutes. Chesca read a large novel about war and prostitution and couldn’t be disturbed, and Julian was singing his usual erotic songs again, this time drumming his hands with a knife and spoon. Seth seemed to be the lone attacker of the picnic basket.

“Pleash pash the mashed potatoesh.” Seth requested, mouth full. Julian handed him the bowl with a tranquil face, and this Chesca noted.

“My brother likes the color red.” She announced brightly.

“Really.” Both men answered simultaneously.

She wouldn’t leave the subject unheard, and pointed at Julian. “And you’re red.”

“Oh, you mean my eyes? Yes, that’s because I lack pigment—“

“No. Your face is. Maybe that’s why he enjoys you so much.”

Julian’s cheeks turned scarlet, and he closed his eyes tightly. “You’re…err…I mean, it’s so hot, isn’t it?” Nobody answered him, and he looked at Seth with embarrassed eyes. The dark-haired man grew red as well. It was disconcerting to be the subject of a ten-year-old’s curiosity.

“So Chesca,” The fair boy opened conversation with a breaking voice, “How long will it take us to reach R Town?”

The large book was gently placed on the mat by nimble hands. “Oh…I’m not sure. Maybe hours, days, a fortnight. That’s why we have to bring a lot of things with us to keep us busy, lest we die of boredom, and that’s a contemptible way to expire.”

Julian nodded slowly, taking in her words effortlessly. “Hey, maybe we can sing songs, I’ve got a bunch of records here—“

“—Maybe!” interrupted Seth with a smirk, “We might die of hearing your stupid voice, that’s an even more pitiful way to die—“

“—Well, if we have nothing else left to do…” Chesca looked thoughtful for a moment, then waved her hands carelessly. “Anyway, we’ll probably reach R Town undamaged.”

Seth turned surprisingly quiet as the two talked. His sister told Julian everything about her encounter with the mysterious bus. The bus was a fairly small one, could only be occupied by less than twelve people, and was colored bright purple. Chesca described what R Town looked like, for the friendly driver showed her pictures, and Julian listened with wide, fascinated eyes. The young boy’s hands gripped the picnic mat excitedly, and Seth hastily touched his hand for fear of him ripping the cloth. Yes, he was really concerned about the picnic mat. Yes.

The older man watched silently as his younger sister and newfound friend exchanged stories and laughed and sang. He felt his heart beat painfully; it was a beautiful sight. Feeling a sudden internal peace, he closed his eyes and dreamt of R Town. His sister could swim on the lake and play with the dogs and cats. He could go boating with Julian—errr, fishing under the retreating sun. The sun wouldn’t be too hot, wouldn’t make his flesh scorch like the desert sand. There would be the lovely scent of smoked barbecue. Everything would be nice and calm. He wouldn’t have to scrounge for work, or to think of his dead mother, and the rest of his dead mothers.

Then he finally wished he could take all of them; all twelve families, to R Town. He wished he could take Wallace there, if he wasn’t just too attached to his boss and his work.

Seth opened his eyes again just in time to see Chesca whisper something to Julian, who looked incredibly flushed.

“Cheska, would you mind leaving us alone for a moment?” announced Seth, eyeing the two warily. The girl giggled.

“Of course, dear brother. Now Julian, I wish you would never fail to remember what I just informed you. He’ll love it if you rub him there, while he rests.” The mischievous-looking Chesca smiled sweetly at the two men before running off towards the endless grass, chasing invisible butterflies while giggling madly.

Julian looked at Seth with a very timid smile. “Your sister is lovely…and a bit on the weird side.”

“So I’ve heard. She scares her fellow playmates sometimes. Probably all those books she reads.” Seth gestured the fair boy to sit beside him, and he followed reluctantly. Their hands brushed against each other for a brief moment, until Julian finally settled down. Seth bowed his head and cleared his throat, rubbing his hands vigorously.

“…I just want to say that you can stop dropping your façade now, if you have one, which I don’t know if you do, but anyway y-you can just drop it. Now. I love my sister so much, and I believe in her, and I can see that she likes you a hell lot. I don’t know why you believe in me, I don’t know why you believe a man who believes his younger sister, even if she’s just ten years old. Why do you believe me? Do you really believe that R Town exists?”

Julian rolled his eyes. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be sitting beside this extremely loony, twenty-something man if I didn’t right?”

“So, you’re not pretending?” It was stupid to ask, especially if the guy was ACTUALLY holding pretenses.





“Nope, sorry. I’m completely dead-set on getting to R Town. Besides, if R Town doesn’t exist, which I’m sure is untrue, then I wouldn’t trade this moment for the world. I mean—“ Julian blushed, and Seth felt like the air was getting thicker, “—maybe I just like the company. …M-Maybe it’s just fun being here.”

“So, you like the company.” Seth’s throat was dry. He felt a sudden surge of warmth in his body, and he couldn’t stop looking at Julian’s translucent eyes. He forgot how striking they were when they first met.

The other nodded. “Yes. I mean, I wouldn’t want to travel to R Town with a bunch of snooty people. I want to go there…with you two.”

Seth’s doubts toward Julian vanished.

The three continued eating their lunch by the grass. The sun became harsh and prodded them with stinging rays until they ran back to Liberty, jackets over their heads.

The next day Seth strayed at least three hours earlier before their meeting time, fixing his hair whilst gazing at a stainless steel. He knew he looked way handsome; but every time he sat beside Julian and talked to him, he felt like he needed to change something. He tried fixing his hair in different styles, trying on new clothes, but the change never came.

Seth wanted to make an impression. He used to think singing his heart out and showing off his exemplary musical abilities would earn him a nod, but all he received were boyish giggles.

He wanted change, then something brand new, then acceptance. He wanted many things.

“Oh fuck,” Seth exclaimed, and Julian glanced at him with sleepy eyes.

“What is it?”

“I just had an outburst of feelings. Hold me for a second.”

Julian embraced him, and they both exhaled warmly.

“That okay?”

“…I’d like to hug you more, but someone might see us.”

“We’re going to R Town anyway; they can’t do anything to us once we’re gone. Let them talk…they’re just jealous cos we're doing something they want to do but choose not to. Again?”

Both grown men wrapped their arms around each other and waited.

It was Day Seventy of the Fifth Year.